Motivation

I am watching videos by vegans and getting so much inspiration. I find it so motivating to hear their experiences and to see them and hear what they have to say, reminds me that I am not alone in what I am doing. It gives me ideas about things to try. It motivates me to go further, to do more.

Changes

Starting on this vegan way of eating has been a real learning process for me. I have been researching and reading and as I do I realize there are things I can change (and have) to make my vegan food better. I learned that tofu is soooo much better if it is browned (yuummmmy!) and I learned that mushrooms take longer to cook than onions and will retain more of their mushroom flavor if you cook them up to the point that they are releasing their juices before adding onions. I am learning new recipes, finding a new normal and having fun doing it. The best thing is that I am getting my energy back, I am finding myself singing while I work, being silly with my girls, being more energetic and finding even more improvements in my body! If this is what being vegan does to me, I am so glad I made the change!

Good Days

I am feeling really healthy today. I am loving all the lovely veggie recipes I am trying. I am enjoying the mint tea I have been drinking. I am just feeling really good about the changes I am making. I have been trying so many new recipes and experimenting and I am really loving it

weekly weigh-in

I am down One pound this week. Considering the time of the month, I am thrilled with that! I love that I have been eating lots of yummy vegan foods. I am always full. I never sit around feeling deprived and hungry. I even made myself a yummy vegan dinner when Prince Charming and the kids had a pizza and I didn't feel deprived.

I am thinking about Christmas dinner and what vegan goodness I can add to it to make my dinner feel special. You know what they say . . . Failure to plan is planning to fail.

stages

I am doing my diet in stages right now. For now, I am eating vegan and trying to be as healthy as I can. Starting in the new year, I will be extremely low fat, vegan (ie McDougall's). I am feeling really good right now, so that is something to enjoy too.

weekly weigh-in

I know I have been bad about weighing in the last few hectic weeks, but I am here and settled and I am back to weighing in again.

I am down .2 lbs. This isn't bad considering how I was behaving for a while. But I am eating healthy, and feeling good right now.

Still holding on.

Still holding strong on the caffeine front, although I will tell you there were times in my brain addled, caffeine withdrawal headache fog of pain yesterday, I was seriously questioning why I was doing this at all. But I know that it is better for me to not be addicted like this. One day without coffee should not cause me this much pain.

i forgot one thing

With all the stresses in my life, I forgot one thing ..... ME. I have forgotten to take care of myself, to take time for myself, to believe in myself.

In my life right now I am dealing with the sickness of my father. he has been diagnosed with lung cancer. it doesn't look good for him. I lost my mom when i was 21 and i really feel like I am going to loss my dad. If that is not stressful enough, I get the unfortunate of being the only sibling that is actually in the same town as dad so i become the one who has to deal with stuff first and than report it to my family members. It may not seem like a lot to you, but it forces me to have to be strong even when i do feel i can be. I have to keep things together in order make sure everybody is informed.

That being said, i need to take care of myself so that i can do all those things. I have to treat myself better so that i am strong enough to fight whatever comes next. I need to learn how to copy without food. I will figure it out ,..soon

caffeine

I am feeling pretty good so far. I have yet to get the caffeine-detox headache. I was asked why I am giving up caffeine. I said it was because I am trying to be the healthiest I can and I am trying to get rid of all my food vices. And if I am so addicted to coffee that I get headaches when I don't have it, I am addicted, it is a vice and I need to be rid of it too. It only makes sense to me. There are lots of days I would love to start the day with a nice herbal tea, but I don't because of the headaches.

Detox

I am detoxing myself. I am going to get healthy. I need to be at my best for my girls and if it takes a few days of discomfort, I will do this. I am giving up coffee and I am going vegan. I have been collecting recipes to make this easier for myself. And after I get the house organized from this move, I will start using the treadmill that my neighbour has given me free use of.

Reality Bites (and it sags too)

I have been off the wagon for this move. I just couldn't manage the budget and the time and for days I lived on Halloween goodies and coffee. So, while I haven't gained weight, I haven't lost either. I have been feeling bad about that but there it is.

Then I settled into the house and decided to luxuriate in the lovely big bath in the main bathroom with the lovely large mirror. Now, over the years, mirrors have evaporated in my house in direct proportion to my weight going up. I didn't want to see the damage I was doing.

As I have lost weight, I felt better about myself. I went from only extra large maternity clothes fitting, to size 24 stretchy clothes fitting, to size 15 jeans fitting. I was feeling pretty good about my bad old self. Then I got my bath. I got undressed, looked into the mirror and was shocked. On top of the not to bad legs, was the most hideous, gelatinous, cellulite riddled, saggy mess I have ever seen. I was horrified. I am still horrified. It was awful to see. I was happy in my misguided, delusion that I was looking pretty good in my new skinny jeans. I was feeling good about how I looked when I saw a man flirt with me at the coffee shop. But with this quick glance (after all who wants to stare at that reality for longer than that??) I fell thud on my large saggy but in the world absolute truth.

I can only hope that I can get to the weight I am aiming for and that when I get there, I look better than I do now.